It is official: I am in a Sleep Recession. This is not full blown insomnia, but a weird cousin to it. I can fall asleep in about three seconds flat almost anywhere (sleep deprivation? um, yes, this is the first sign), and often do this on the couch at about 9PM. I wake up just before 10 and drag myself to brush my teeth and get into bed, but then usually start puttering, over thinking, jotting a list, checking FB/email/blogs/news/weather, watching more TV, usually a combination of all of the above. Before I know it, it is 11:30 and I am finally getting into bed where I then grab a magazine, a book or my journal to then spend another 15 to 30 minutes AWAKE. My alarms are set for 5:30AM even though I don’t leave the house until 6:55 because I have to pad my morning routine with about an extra 30 minutes of wake-up time. Also, I am far from “awake” at that time in the morning. This waking issue is also related to my status as a slow starter. So after months of this I am done for. I am exhausted.
Add to this the issue of my dog Duke. He has epilepsy, which means he has seizures every 5 to 6 weeks completely without warning, and they often happen in the middle of the night. Without getting into all the details, let me just stress that it is stressful. There is the concern over his health first of all, then there is the clean-up, then there is the tracking of the additional medication doses (both he and Don Draper take phenobarbital), then there is the frustration and some self pity, then there is some extra love for him and for his brother Rocco, and most of all, there is the exhaustion.
Duke had one seizure last Saturday early in the morning, one in the middle of the night this Saturday, and one last night after midnight, and I was actually still awake (dinner guests clean-up and standing in front of the open fridge looking at all the cooking I need to get done and then going into a reverie about green chile and how I need to order it for Thanksgiving for the stuffing and… and… and…) It had been a hard week with him, because when he is on upped doses of the drugs he is dopey, sloppy and extra needy. And when I am tired I am irritable and impatient. We are not a good pair. It makes me extra sad too, because Duke is the athlete of the family, a total ball retrieving lunatic. He will still play ball, but the downers have muted his agility, so we have all become runners.
The Recession creeps on, only mine has a much easier fix than the one plaguing our government. I have to get some shut-eye so that when Duke gets smacked with another brain-quake, I will be prepared to clean and soothe and dose, and then go back to sleep.
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