Day 12: Same Old Story

On Saturday night I wore heels to the annual Pre-Thanksgiving Thanksgiving party (aka PreTT) which became the topic of some conversation. My friends wanted to know, why heels to a fairly mellow house party? Especially to PreTT where we’d be so soused on Whisky Sours, four inch heels become a physical hazard. (They are hard enough to navigate down my 52 steps and on the hills of Sausalito while sober, so there was some cause for concern.) But the real reason, as I suspected, always has to do with my height. Why would a woman of 5’9″ make herself to be over 6′ tall? Doesn’t she know that is, get ready for it… INTIMIDATING???

This is one of those assessments others have told me about me to my face for my entire life. Um, I’d say that is the thing that is actually intimidating. When a word like this gets thrown around to the point it starts to sound like gibberish, I like to rely on good old denotative meanings. tells me that this verb means to make timid, or to fill with fear. Really? I fill you with fear? I may give off some kind of intensity that people are trying to process, but certainly I am not filling others with actual fear. Cruella DeVil is intimidating, not moi!

I actually think I suffer from the opposite issue which is being too nice, or too accommodating which has caused me much head and heartache in the past. And I can be squirmingly insecure on the inside, but I got my earnest back a few years ago, so that helps turn the volume down on those pesky voices. I was of course thinking about this on my run tonight trying to make some connection about this misperception of me, but I cut it short and the clarity did not arrive yet. Longer run tomorrow perhaps.

Surely my beautiful shoes are not to blame.

Click “Comments” below to see comments from original FB posts.

2 thoughts on “Day 12: Same Old Story

  1. Jen-

    confidence + power = intimidating

    wearing the heals means you are confident..which equals power.. which to pussy’s means intimidating.

    can’t please ’em all sweets just be the confident, powerful, tall …you!
    November 24, 2009 at 2:28am

    Heather S.-

    I say why not heels? You have great legs, they have to be worn!
    November 24, 2009 at 7:21am


    thanks ladies :-) here’s to heels when I want to!
    November 24, 2009 at 8:49am


    heels + you = hot! always interesting to dissect how others see oneself…
    November 24, 2009 at 10:14am

  2. Kim-

    I don’t know if you’d remember this, but sometime in late HS there was a UB40 concert at Paolo Soleri. I fussed and primped beforehand, trying to achieve what I thought was a “Cool Concert Goer” look and I worried about it until the show started. You showed up just before showtime, still in your soccer duds (I think you’d just had a game), and in your shorts and confident athleticism, you were a startling reminder that sometimes the best look is the one that says, “I DID something today, bitches.” So even without heels (which I’m sure are fab) (and which you should post pictures of), it’s the confidence. :)
    November 25, 2009 at 8:03am


    wow, thanks for sharing that KB! yes, I do remember that show, AND I still have the ticket stub (in fact, when Jenna and I re-did my casita in February, I pulled out the cedar box with all those tidbits and showed it to her). isn’t it funny that you recall your primping and the wiggles it was giving you, yet I am sure I was horrified at my own outfit situation and probably wished I had spent more time dealing with it? I bet, per usual you looked cute as hell. it fascinates me that we all have such similar interior monologues. apparently there is a point though where we shut that off and get the hell out the door, and let confidence be our best accessory. I was planning a “shoe” post… you will get to see them. they are yummy. HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU!!
    November 25, 2009 at 9:38am


    We are our own worst critics, always. I can tell myself that, and yet sometimes the voice won’t shut up. Can’t wait to see the shoes! Happy Thanksgiving to you too!
    November 25, 2009 at 11:00am

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