Overdone With No Run

It has been close to two weeks since the North Face Endurance Challenge half, and I have not run or written.  Boo.  And today, as a result, my attitude totally fucking sucks.  Yeah, no bleep on that one, that’s how pissy I am.

Besides the luxury problems that having so many to see, so much to eat and drink, and just so much to do create (namely some scheduling glitches and a lack of sleep), I have a real problem: I injured the hell out of my foot during the race.  Remember all those tossed off comments about not being really totally 100% prepared for this event?  Yeah, that was not fake modesty, I was undertrained.  However, like most amateur athletes, we run at race pace ANYway, and then wake up the next day unable to put weight on our left foot.  Ouch.  I have been limping since December 6th.

Since I am a generally healthy person, getting hurt or being sore or sick throws me out of whack in a way that I think others don’t experience.  I turn into a sensitive, distracted, pitiful mess.  The whining inside my head sounds like a daycare filled with fussy toddlers right before nap time.  I too am  mere milliseconds away from total tantrum meltdown, only it would be socially unacceptable for a grown woman to react this way to an actually quite manageable malady.  That I did to myself.  <Ahem>.

This brings me right back to the beginning of the problem that if I cannot run (due to self inflicted injury), then I write less, then I get all jammed up and systems start to shut down, and here I find myself falling off the cliff of oversleeping my alarms (yes, plural), forgetting to make or return calls/emails/txts/IMs, obsessing over shit I can’t control, not drinking enough water, eating way too much sugar, losing my ability to creatively solve problems (and my problems need energetic genius!), not to mention a diminished fashion sense which is also a self-fulfilling and downward spiral to Hagsville, and down and down I fall until I splat into a puff of smoke at the bottom of the canyon.  Here’s where I hold up the sign that says, “Okay, I get it.”

First, I need sleep.  Then, even though it is unaccounted for in my budget, I need to make another appointment with the A.R.T. therapist, because it is magic and I know, will indeed help my foot heal.  Then, more sleep, and then a really good conversation with my attorney (which is unrelated to the injury, ha).

And eventually, a run.  I am even willing to let it be a hike.  That would make me feel best of all.

10 thoughts on “Overdone With No Run

  1. I can honestly say that I know JUST what you mean, because I sprained my left ankle over Thanksgiving weekend. Except I was merely trying to cross a street instead of, you know, kicking ass at a half marathon. Ankle is getting better, slowly … but it seems so slow, doesn’t it? Messed me up too. So glad to see you writing again!!

    One glitch I wanted to let you know about: If I come to your page via http://www.sugarleg.com (your “main” page) I can’t find a comment link on this post. But I found it when I clicked on the post title. There’s a definite possibility I’m just being moron, although I could see the “comment” link on your post just before this one. I know you’ve been working on the site (which is looking awesome!) but just wanted to let you know about that one.

    Hang in there and get out there. :) xoxo

    1. K-Bell, thanks for the input on site stuff. damn, I can’t recreate that glitch, but will ask for others to see if they can. trying to figure out next steps design-wise and to ad ads. but is a painstakingly slow process since you have to teach yourself as you go.

      so sorry to hear about your hurt ankle, OW. dude, it doesn’t matter how it happens and I think you have to be even kinder to self when injury happens as a matter of pure accident in daily life, or else we can beat ourselves up more. it’s not like I get more life points for being hurt b/c I did mine running in a race. writing this out sure helps too, and again is the savior here. I am much more able to show kindness to you and you to me, rather than ourselves, huh, funny right? but the sharing is what teaches and heals, so THANK YOU!

      about to walk dogs, not run, still too sore, but looking forward to getting back on track. brain needs!

      Merry Merry!

  2. I just looked again and it’s there now (your comments button, plus the “filed under” and tags, which I swear weren’t there last night. I even was looking at in pre-wine! It was either a passing glitch or (always possible) I was missing what was right in front of me.

    I know what you mean about finding it easier to be kinder to others. Good to think about. But be kind to yourself as you heal … and I’ll work on it too. ;) xo

    1. “pre-wine” LOL. thanks for checking again, and if it’s there now, that is good enough for me. :-)

      it’s a deal, helps to know there is another friend out there working on the same stuff.

  3. Girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl I am sorry you have a sore sore paw! I know it can feel like you don’t have a lot of control over how you’re feeling, especially in that extremity, but indeed, you DO, as you noted! ONE day at a time in all things, and you’re doing brilliantly, you really are. Don’t forget that, hon!
    This is temporary. ;)
    And a VERY buon natale to you, hotstuff!

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