It has been close to two weeks since the North Face Endurance Challenge half, and I have not run or written. Boo. And today, as a result, my attitude totally fucking sucks. Yeah, no bleep on that one, that’s how pissy I am.
Besides the luxury problems that having so many to see, so much to eat and drink, and just so much to do create (namely some scheduling glitches and a lack of sleep), I have a real problem: I injured the hell out of my foot during the race. Remember all those tossed off comments about not being really totally 100% prepared for this event? Yeah, that was not fake modesty, I was undertrained. However, like most amateur athletes, we run at race pace ANYway, and then wake up the next day unable to put weight on our left foot. Ouch. I have been limping since December 6th.
Since I am a generally healthy person, getting hurt or being sore or sick throws me out of whack in a way that I think others don’t experience. I turn into a sensitive, distracted, pitiful mess. The whining inside my head sounds like a daycare filled with fussy toddlers right before nap time. I too am mere milliseconds away from total tantrum meltdown, only it would be socially unacceptable for a grown woman to react this way to an actually quite manageable malady. That I did to myself. <Ahem>.
This brings me right back to the beginning of the problem that if I cannot run (due to self inflicted injury), then I write less, then I get all jammed up and systems start to shut down, and here I find myself falling off the cliff of oversleeping my alarms (yes, plural), forgetting to make or return calls/emails/txts/IMs, obsessing over shit I can’t control, not drinking enough water, eating way too much sugar, losing my ability to creatively solve problems (and my problems need energetic genius!), not to mention a diminished fashion sense which is also a self-fulfilling and downward spiral to Hagsville, and down and down I fall until I splat into a puff of smoke at the bottom of the canyon. Here’s where I hold up the sign that says, “Okay, I get it.”
First, I need sleep. Then, even though it is unaccounted for in my budget, I need to make another appointment with the A.R.T. therapist, because it is magic and I know, will indeed help my foot heal. Then, more sleep, and then a really good conversation with my attorney (which is unrelated to the injury, ha).
And eventually, a run. I am even willing to let it be a hike. That would make me feel best of all.