I have been keeping a journal since about the time I learned how to write. I have a “Book About Me” that I’d count as my first journal around age six. Its pages asked different questions about my favorite things, my family, space for drawing pictures and even a page in the back reserved for autographs. When I asked my mom what an autograph was, she said, “A signature from a famous person.” So naturally, I signed it with my two favorite famous people at the time, Carol Burnett and Tim Conway. (Apparently I was not into the Cassidy clan.) Skip ahead a few more years and I had another journal, this one a locking diary. It also had themed pages for organizing family, friends and favorites, but also lots of room for writing the events of the day. I have journals from high school, college, my 20’s, my 30’s and now, I will have them for my 40’s. I go in spurts with my journal writing and this past six to eight months I have been more of a scrawler, but yes, I have all those notes too filed inside the pages of my now ubiquitous black, unlined Moleskine journals.
Often, I write in my journal when I am sad, so if I ever go back to look at something, my first reaction is to want to hug that sad, venting person and in a way I guess I do when I read the entries. But I also made a commitment to myself to write when I am happy and content and grateful, because as good as venting is, it is a much more powerful foundation to build from contentment and wisdom. So with that in mind, I want to make sure to remember how wonderful this week has been, both in its exciting and mundane moments, and really feel the power of the positive.
Starting last Sunday night, I went with friends to a screening of a new documentary about mythologist/writer/professor Joseph Campbell. What an absolutely fantastic way to end my weekend and start my week, nary a Sunday Blue in sight! The documentary focused specifically on The Hero’s Journey, and wow, it was a total validation for the choices I have made in the last six months especially and gave me some real clarity on a few pressing decisions. (Figure out your bliss and follow it people. Do it.)
The week itself was filled with some totally exhilarating engagements, the kind where at the end of the appointed time you are both saying things like, “Oh dear, we’re going to have to talk about that next time!” and then you both put the next time in your calendar. And that kind of energy is calming and invigorating; I had a fantastic 6-mile training run on Wednesday that felt as easy as it did strong. Even the annoyance of having no internet the entire week which then required me giving up my Friday night to the Customer Service Gulag of Comcast, was merely that, an annoyance. Because when I got that network fired up, I had such a sense of accomplishment I was actually excited to tackle the queue of writing and correspondence that was waiting for me. Saturday started with the totally unexpected delight of Blindfolded Yoga and then into a night out with my closest friends for a huge meal, a lot of wine and even more laughter. See above for the triumph of my training run today!
Are you vomiting yet?
If you are, rest assured that there was bad news this week. There is famine in Africa. Our government is broken. People I love got sick, even some of their loved ones got sick. People I love are heartbroken, or are acting like assholes, or are terribly overwhelmed. But even in the bad news, I kept having an empowering feeling that we are all exactly where we are supposed to be and if we pay more attention to that, the answers to overcome the obstacles will come with more frequency and more clarity. I have been in this place of calm before, and I like it. I have really missed it too.
So, Universe, I would like to extend my stay here in Confidence Town as long as possible and fill my journals with stories about that! And maybe even about how I got a real autograph from Carol Burnett and Tim Conway.