How Not To Update

As I muddle through this running and writing layoff due to prolonged injury and a semi-broken heart, I find myself increasingly apathetic about Facebook, especially since the Timeline redesign has gone live and the “Like” button has used its manipulative algorithm to render everyone’s news feeds into redundant and myopic dreck.  (And I have very talented and interesting friends with a wide range of pursuits!)

At this point, apathy is better than the annoyance I had been stewing in.  But sometimes annoyance and irritation is great inspiration and sometimes snark is the fuel I need.  I am already filled with ideas to play with this format.  So, with feigned apologies to those who enjoy both writing and reading about the minutia of daily life, here is a peek into my last week written in the most general style of the Facebook Status Update I could muster, lack of wit and generous use of exclamation points intended:

  • Wild turkeys are on my roof, so cool!
  • Girl Scout Cookies: two boxes in two days, a new record.
  • Oh good, dog diarrhea in my kitchen…  AGAIN!
  • Post Date Wrap-Up: BO-ring!
  • TSA, you suck!
  • Uh oh… might need to attach a breathalyzer to my phone.
  • How do you remove a temporary tattoo?!
  • Angelina, PLEASE EAT SOMETHING and put your leg away!
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2 thoughts on “How Not To Update

  1. So since I am trying really hard not to post every transient thought in my brain…I needed somewhere to go with this. If I were to post right now i would post “just because you use ‘LOL’ after your ignorant post on Facebook doesn’t make what you said any less ignorant.” phew….thanks… ;)

    1. Would it be too obvious for me to reply with an LOL? Because I totally did! Haahaaaaahaaaa!!! Feel free to filter transient thoughts here anytime :-)

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