Camp Mighty Recap: The Disclaimer

WOW. It’s true, I am still in full-on wowzer mode from Camp Mighty and as I know do, I am also verrrry slow to process. Much like a Thanksgiving turkey, I need to respect the time it takes to roast in all the goodness and that means keeping the oven door shut!

I met incredibly talented women (and a few mens!) at all stages and ranges of their creative power and potential. I listened to some very smart and successful people and companies tell their stories. I swanned around (and some did quite literally) the gorgeous Ace Hotel in Palm Springs. I wore sequins. And a bikini. I laughed my ass off. And shocking no one who knows me/knows me, I cried. Also, I might have gotten a little emo-blurty and possibly gave bad impressions. Oops.

In my current moment of reflection, I am hearing that old bastard Shame, singing his lament to the losers, and it’s loud and incessant and it’s drowning out the superawesome goodness. I will get there, and demand that he turn the volume down. That’s not the issue. It’s just that this is my process, and like Jenny Lawson told us on Saturday morning when describing her need to take a month off mid-book tour due to some very relatable shall I call them, FEELINGS, when that happens you just have to let yourself be where you need to be, trusting that this too shall pass. This is especially important when you feel like a crazy, loudtalker loser and everyone else is fantastic. Even though you know it’s not true.

Since I tend to rely heavily on humor to mask the fear of rejection keep serious things like my extreme vulnerability light and funny, I give you the cinematic version of how I see my relationship to the superawesome women of Camp Mighty.

Dear Mike from Swingers, don’t ever change. You’re so money and you don’t even know it.

10 thoughts on “Camp Mighty Recap: The Disclaimer

  1. I was doing the shame thing in the shower on Friday morning! Such a bastard, that voice in your/my head. Just ignore it. You were awesome and it was a pleasure to meet you and listen to your story. I look forward to seeing what you do this year! xo

    1. F**k that guy right?! Ignoring… Thank you Leslie, so wonderful to meet you, what a lovely, warm, funny, positive person you are. SO happy you’re on my team, and looking forward to cheering you on/helping get your stuff done too. :-) Started diving into your blog, lots of supergreat work and words. Look forward to participating there too! Go to SLEEP. xo

  2. Damn, I commented last night and it must have been eaten. It’s okay: I’m pretty sure I know what you mean with this. I definitely understand the need to let it marinate (yes!) and the creeping second-guessing (no!!!). All I see is a kick-ass woman who drove hundreds of miles, solo, to do something she really wanted to do, solo, and she had a fun, interesting, meaningful time. Life List gold. And that rocks, my friend. That’s all there is to it. xo

    1. thanks Kim, it really helps to hear this from a friend, who knows in real life that I am not actually as crazy as I think I am. I am totally proud of myself for doing it, come hell or high water, and all 999 miles added to The Flea’s odometer. I do love a road trip. more to come and THANK YOU for consistently cheering me on and commenting even when WP is eating them, durn it! you should know, one of the Five Things for the LL this year is to redesign this mutha. :-) xoxo

  3. That video clip is the best and feels pretty spot on to how I felt so many times during all of it. But I’m glad that I got to glom onto you for so much of the weekend. Not just for amazing mirror reflection photos, but because I think you’re kind of awesome. So there.

    1. thank you sweet Caitlin, first for understanding the crazy-headed manic state that Camp brought on AND for being super awesome yourself. SO excited to have met you and please make work send you to SF asap. xo

  4. I have a remarkably similar processing mechanism. Last year I humiliated myself on, oh, every level – from falling into the hot tub to having overly intense reactions and then being horrified by myself. This year was remarkably different in that I humiliated myself and then thought “I think it was worse last year.” So I am making progress! Or deluding myself! But that swan never judged me. I love him. I tried to fit him in my suitcase.

    1. ahhh the swan. you know, they mate for life so you’ll get to see him again next year and he’ll welcome you, judgment-free with open wings. and so will I. thanks for reading and sharing, it means A LOT to this newbie. see you on the interwebs Daffodil. xoxo

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