I broke up with Summer 2013 a few weeks back. No really, don’t be sad, we were never going to make it work Summer 2013 and me, even though I tried. For all my desire to laze about with attractive folks in the long days’ heat near a body of water, drink in my hand, smelling of Coppertone and coconut, mostly what happened was this: I was somewhat homebound, with a hurt body, rigid bank account, and all those folks? Well they were on well-deserved vaycays while Summer 2013 showed up at my place excelling only at relentless if mild disappointment, not even a booty call to boot. I knew it would never work between us pretty early on, like about on July 4th weekend, when there was one nice day at the fair… followed by four in row of cable television and shitty baseball. Summer kept trying, wait, no, Summer kept saying, “well I dunno, whadda you wanna do?” which is SO not a turn on for any season, even fickle and high-maintenance Spring.
I did manage to break free from this unexpected inertia enough to get myself to the orthopedic surgeon on July 30, so I could finally get a diagnosis on the pain that has been plaguing my knees and stalling my running to a stop for these eight months. Shocking no one, I have the very common ailment called patellofemoral pain syndrome, or Runner’s Knee. No structural damage, no arthritis, no stress fractures, (NO, RUNNING IS NOT BAD FOR ME SO SPARE THAT COMMENTARY PLEASE), nope it’s caused by not stretching the quads properly and is fixed by stretching the quads properly. And taking some Aleve, which I love. To prove that Summer 2013 is really just a big fat loser, it also timed the arrival of a gnarly low-back muscle spasm soon after doing my third day of quad stretches, on the morning I was taking a day off to go spend the weekend with some attractive friend-folks. I was tons o’fun gimping around the party those two days!
I have taken most of this in stride, or in my case, sit, and I noticed I was just kind of numbing out, but because I am so boring when it comes to binges, I use chips, Papalote salsa and staying home as my drug of choice. There was a glimmer of hope when one day, FINALLY, I wept out some big fat tears, wrote a bunch (6 pages) of never-see-the-light-of-day/possible insanity in my journal, talked to a BFF and was happy to just FEEL SOME FEELINGS. And then… Summer 2013 tried to get back together with me that bastard. We went to Outside Lands and it was fantastic, and then… bleargh all over again with the BLAHHHHS.
Last Sunday, while doing a lengthy list of car-based errands, I decided it was over forever between me and Summer 2013. Like all good break-ups, it was the unexpected yet cosmically absolute timing of a song coming on the radio that gave me all the clarity and strength I ever needed to get on with my life and leave Summer 2013 behind me. I could not bring myself to post the video of this song, because its sheer weird-silliness will distract you from the brilliance at its soul, and you might not smile and cry like I did and then go home and book four days away next week in Tahoe.
Enjoy. And BRING IT, FALL 2013!!!