Just Keep Wrunning

Went out for another walk tonight, fast pace, but intentionally NO RUNNING. I turned on my Buddhify to help get mind and body connected, specifically focusing on the Embodiment meditation which asked me to acknowledge that exercise has an expectation on future results, but to pay attention to the work the body is doing in the present. I was most appreciative that my Brit said desired future results are very often about vanity  which is FINE and that 100% works for  me because I am nothing if not 100% vain.

It was a beautiful night, the kind of still, summer evening where the slowly setting sun draws down the heat of the day by throwing your shadow ever longer against the trail. Toward the middle of my exercise-walk, that familiar feeling of clarity I only get when on a run started turning on the groggy synapses in my brain and there it was: a cool thought!

This was not a run, nor a walk. I shall now call this…

a wrun.

And also, I will hashtag you my new favorite word whilst I recover from this injury, I will write about wrunning.

#wrun #wrunning #wrunnuer

OMG MEDITATION WORKS.

Everything and Nothing: The Past 35 Days

Ummmm… oops?

So apparently, in the last 35 days, I took an unintended sugarleg break. Except for tweets. And a bit of Instagram. Oh, and maybe some Pinterest. A dash of Facebook happened and a little Go Mighty too. Also a writing class. (And a writing workshop!) A couple dates. A wedding (not mine, duh!) A baby shower (also not mine, duh!) Too much TV/caffeine/sugar/cheese. Not enough sleep or money.  A lotta lotta work, of the productive and rewarding kind.

But only sporadic running.

And uneven writing.

If I (re)learned anything during my fantastic 5-week writing class, it was the importance of writing every day, even if it is not getting posted or published every day. I realized that my writing routine has been so linked to my running routine, that when the running is off, my writing rhythm has suffered. That is clearly no excuse, but I am kind of surprised at my deep commitment to not just write, especially with what I know is some damn good material rattling around in the noodle.

Alas, it only counts once it’s on the page.

That is why I am proclaiming here that I know I am stuck and that I know how to fix all of this: call the acupuncturist and make an appointment for him to work on my knee; call the writing coach, the blogging mentor, and other supporters to make a plan; go bed earlier; oh and:

Introducing… Hot Links!

Thursdays are good days. You can see the weekend, but you’re still pumping out the jams with much energy at work, and at night you can even find yourself out at a show or staying up late to watch Archer. Yes, even YOU parental units! Thursdays kind of rule. Thanksgiving? Always on a Thursday. Need more proof? Must See TV was on Thursdays, natch.

So it’s with much  good Thursday mojo that I introduce a new weekly feature here on sugarleg: Hot Links! (And yes, I am a huge HUGE fan of the Louisiana variety.)

Some of my favorite weekly posts in my blog reads are link round-ups, which can of course lead to a little rabbit-holing, BUT, when well-selected, links entertain and inform and connect. However, so many happen on Fridays, which hello, you know about the white hot love affair I have going on with Friday (hey, Friday… that tickles!) ANYWAY… Fridays are crowded with links and Thursday is stepping up!

You can expect to see silliness, tearjerking, fashion, politics, friends, music, recipes AND OF COURSE… geeky running and sports links and other random bits of awesomeness. And since they will all be compiled and posted around Thursday lunch time, you can read and be caught up for the week, prepped for the weekend and then share the whole gig with your peeps.

Like the smart runner that I am, I am going to start SLOW and steady… so here… we… go…

New British study showing elite athletes are NOT willing to dope for gold. Ya-HOO.

Oh how I love seeing high school year book photos of basically everyone and anyone. Check the hair!

As much as I know living in the present is the secret to life, I can never get enough of Argentine photographer Irina Werning’s Back to the Future projects. Trust.

btf

Kelly Wearstler, please eat something.

Wanna come visit??

And finally, this old video of birds playing guitars as part of an art installation popped in my head the other day. See: whimsical.

First Day Back

 

a ok boss

This is Mt. Tamalpais.

(Oh and my very favorite sassy pink and black striped fingerless gloves which were given to me by a very fashionable BFF. I was stopped not once but twice on the trail today to accept compliments for them, which made me and the gloves very happy. Looking good = feeling good = truth.)

This is the view to the west of my trail run, a view I cherish every single moment I see it. This is the view that energize me, calms me, inspires me, protects me, urges me, holds me. This view is how I know everything will always, no matter what, be a-okay.

Cage Fight: Emotional Pain v. Physical Pain

Would you rather have emotional pain or physical pain?

Think on this for a moment.

IMG_3961

I have been thinking on a version of this question for the past couple of weeks, while I’ve been getting to the better side of a searing bout of emotional pain, only to then have been walloped with some of the worst, most debilitating physical pain I have endured in my adult life. (This statement is not an invitation to compare and contrast physical pain stories, it’s just a fact that from Saturday to Tuesday, I was in a place of 24/7 physical misery that I have not experienced pretty much ever. Ow does not begin to cover it.)

This unholy alliance of the emotional and physical really had me thinking, what is the one I would prefer to be forced to handle.

Even though it is relentless, give me emotional pain ANY DAY EVER.

Friends who know the roots of my brand of emotional pain may be shocked that I am picking this side, especially because it might worry them that I could sink under the weight of these types of hurts to the point of severe depression, where I bottomed out before and they do not want to see me back in that terrible place. I realized how scary it is for them a few weeks ago, when, looking for someone to just mind the fire of my flared up anger/sadness/shock/humiliation due to, shall we call it, an unfortunate situation with a man, I unintentionally hurt their feelings by rejecting the quick comfort and affirmations they were trying to offer. I had wanted and needed to freak the fuck out, to cry and yell out all that bile and self-doubt and have it be witnessed by trusted allies so that once I calmed down, I would have the space to accept the love and comfort and wisdom that they were ultimately trying to offer all along. The misunderstanding inherent in poor communication was quickly handled and forgiven – this is the blessing of old friendships that are treated with care and respect and grow mighty over the years – but I thought a lot about how the baring of raw emotional pain can be perceived as a confrontation, even for the closest in our tribes.

A pause for a moment to remind, that yes, I still pick emotional pain over physical pain. Deep breath. I’m getting there. Hang in with me.

We are all masochists a little bit. We are all masochists a little bit because so often on the other side of a smidge of misery is a reward. Physically, this is much easier to compute. As a runner, I know that if I don’t experience some muscle soreness, I am not training hard enough to go faster, or be stronger for the next event. So, I invite some pain into my body, knowing that it is temporary and that the reward is strength and speed. Emotionally, this is a bit tougher to explain, but the risk and reward scenario is similar. In order to have fulfilling relationships with friends, family, lovers and partners, we have to know we will feel some discomfort from time to time and we have to be willing to accept that it triggers at totally different times for all of us all the time. And here’s what thrills me about that entire cycle of emotional pain: we can absolutely make it safe for our people to bare their pain, to just get it out, to just hold it for them, and then when they are ready, ask what kind of comfort they need, wait patiently for their answer, and then help them get that comfort. We are the Vicodin for each other. And we’re non-narcotic.

I know, you think I am on Vicodin while writing this, but nope, totally sober! Re-read that paragraph. It makes total sense. Do it.

Physical pain is the student teacher to emotional pain’s professor. Physical pain is also a nuisance, which by its very definition means it’s minor. Do not get me wrong. I have friends and family who have endured car accidents, bike crashes, skiing wrecks, street fights, knee surgery, root canals, amputations, migraines, child birth, chemotherapy, fibromyalgia, MS, you name it, I have watched and offered comfort during the physical suffering of so many and it’s hard. It’s so very hard. But for the most part, physical pain is finite and its lessons are not as transformative as emotional pain. Yes, much physical and emotional pain gets intertwined, but when looked at separately, it’s the emotional pain that really has something to teach us.

It wants us to learn to be courageous and kind.

It wants us to learn to hold each other’s pain, not try to take it away immediately.

It wants us to ask each other, what do you need right now, and then to listen to the answer and abide by it.

It wants us to be courageous and kind.

Winner by a… yes, a knockout: emotional pain.

Believing Is Seeing

Here’s the official video from Tough Mudder NorCal Tahoe.  Yes, I got electrocuted.  Willingly.  Twice.  (The Electric Eel is missing from the video though… )  More updates later.  Long weekend with a sick dog and a sick me.  In the meantime, are you tough enough?

HELL YEAH!

Runners Know Their Times

2010 Marin County Half-Marathon

Here is the list I keep in the drafts folder of my WordPress dashboard of my half-marathon times for safekeeping, reference, pride, comparison, information, motivation, curiosity, training and did I mention personal pride?  As you can see, there is a range of times.  I know by looking at them what my training plan was, what the course and weather was that day and if I was injured or not.  The times matter to me because it is the tangible record of how all those other factors impacted my race that day and ultimately THE TIME.

Paul Ryan lying about his marathon time is just absolutely stupid, foolish, arrogant and immature.  To complete a marathon is a huge feat, one that I actually never plan on doing!  So to lie about it diminishes the impressive accomplishment that it is. And not to put too fine a point on it, but someone who would lie about their marathon time and then when caught give a cutesy anecdote about how he confused his time with his brother’s makes me unable to trust anything coming out of his mouth ever.

2008 Big Sur half 2:18:30, 10:34 pace

2009 America’s Finest City half 2:08:31, 9:49 pace

2009 North Face Endurance Challenge, 2:29:46, 11:24 pace

2010 Marin County half 2:04:32, 9:30 pace

2010 North Face Endurance Challenge, 2:37:29, 12:00 pace

2011 America’s Finest City Half 2:08:45, 9:50 pace